


Vincit Qui Se Vincit

by Infinitefleurs



Series: Dum Amo, Vivo [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Old World Blues, i am REALLY sorry if i got things wrong, i swear i'm not trying to romanticize this, i wanted to try my hand at it oof, okay first things first, this is a little short but oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 20:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15299499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinitefleurs/pseuds/Infinitefleurs
Summary: The Courier returns from his journey to Big Mountain... but with unexpected side effects.





	Vincit Qui Se Vincit

**Author's Note:**

> slight context for this, in one of my playthroughs, the stealth suit may have accidentally gotten my courier addicted to med-x and... oops

Arcade figures that if the harshness of the Mojave Wasteland wouldn’t kill him, worrying over the Courier getting into all sorts of trouble would. First, it had been the Sierra Madre, which practically chewed him up and spat him back out. Now, it appears as though he just dropped off the face of the Mojave without another word. 

Sebastian had told him that he’d be investigating this strange transmission from the Mojave Drive-In, something about a  _ Midnight Science Fiction Feature,  _ which Arcade found to be completely ludicrous. The place was Pre-War; in other words, completely abandoned, save for the occasional infestation of raiders, ferals, and other wasteland scum. But Sebastian had insisted, and Arcade knew there was no arguing-- even if the whole thing practically screamed,  _ “this is a big trap!” _

Sebastian had said he’d be back within the  _ day.  _ Which would’ve been totally believable if it wasn’t, and Arcade counts, almost a week. Once he was done sobbing in relief when the Courier comes back, he’d have to give him a stern talking to about his funny definition of a day. And just like that, he sees a figure opening the doors to the Mormon Fort. Arcade squints, and surprise makes its way onto his face when he sees that it was the Courier.  _ Great,  _ Arcade thinks.  _ Whoever’s listening, thanks for bringing him back. Can I talk to you about getting rid of the Legion next? _

Arcade chuckles to himself, but the stern expression returns to his face once Sebastian had approached him. There was an apologetic smile on his face and Arcade suddenly found it hard to be upset. But no, he wouldn’t be swayed this time. Looking the Courier up and down, he took of the new gear he had, and it looked way too technologically advanced to be found in the Mojave. He crosses his arms and taps his foot. He realizes he looked like doting mother like this, but he didn’t care. “Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried you got me?”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. But listen, I hadn’t planned on leaving, I swear. It’s… a long story.”

“I’m sure we have all day. You have a  _ lot  _ to explain.”

As it turns out, it  _ was  _ a long story, and Arcade felt bad for lashing out at him. Abducted by a bunch of Pre-War scientists, then operated on,  _ then  _ promptly lost his brain, spine, and heart. He had the scars to prove it, and there was something about it that Arcade found worrisome. He insisted on giving Sebastian a full physical examination, but the Courier insisted he felt better than ever, save for the occasional headaches. But even then, he reassured the doctor that he had it under control.

“Honestly, you’re such a magnet for trouble,” Arcade remarks, reaching for Sebastian’s hand. “Not that I mind, but try not to get kidnapped again.” He sighs, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I’m just glad you’re back, and mostly in one piece.”

“Mm. I’m sorry for worrying you. Maybe I should’ve brought you along… but I wouldn’t want you to turn out like the rest of them,” Sebastian tells him, gently squeezing his hand. “They called them Lobotomites. They called me one, but apparently getting shot in the head kept me from turning out like that.”

“I suppose getting shot wasn’t an entirely bad thing, then. And what about that suit of yours? Does it… really talk? What does it do?”

“Makes you more sneaky, apparently. Injects Stimpaks for you, too.”

Arcade blinks. “That’s… impressive. An auto-injecting, talking stealth suit. You certainly won’t see that kind of gear around the Mojave.” Arcade goes quiet, simply enjoying the presence of the Courier. They had been hidden away in one of the empty tents in the Mormon Forts, and Arcade was just about ready to spend the rest of the day in there when Sebastian suddenly jerks his hand away. 

A spasm. Now, there were multiple causes of that, and Arcade didn’t like any single one of them. He shifts so that he was completely facing the other. “Since when have you been doing that?” 

“Just recently. It-- uh, might be a side effect from the Big Empty. But I’ll get them under control.” Sebastian blinks once, twice, and Arcade swore his pupils were contracted.

Alright, that narrows Arcade’s prognosis down to one or two reasons, and he’s all the more concerned. However, before he gets the chance to speak, Sebastian quickly stands up and dusts himself off. “Hey--”

“Oh, sorry. I, uh, just remembered… I had a few other errands to run. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Now hold on a second there. You  _ just  _ got back here. Normally you’d jump at the opportunity to stay in bed. Are you alright?” Arcade stands up as well, his face etched with worry. “Are you absolutely sure you don’t need anything checked out?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Fine. I’ll come with you, at least. Don’t want you passing out in the middle of the desert.”

“No!” Sebastian replies, albeit a little  _ too  _ quickly. When Arcade nearly jumps in surprise, he reaches forward, taking both his hands. “I mean-- no, it’s alright. You worry about me too much. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll be back soon.”

Arcade raises an eyebrow, and the Courier laughs.

“Yes, I mean by the end of the day. Not after a week, but at the end of the day.”

“If that’s what you say.” Arcade sighs, letting him be. Still, he found something very wrong about the whole thing, and if Sebastian thought he was being subtle with keeping secrets, he was sorely mistaken. “Hey, before you go… you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“...Yeah, I know.” Sebastian offers a weak smile in return and presses a hasty kiss to Arcade’s cheek before running off.

Arcade only frowns, watching him bolt out of the Mormon Fort as quickly as he had arrived. Maybe it was a bad idea letting him run off on his own, but again, there really wasn’t any arguing once Sebastian had his dander up. Besides, he trusted the Courier, as secretive as he was being right now.

Still, something was up, and Arcade would get down to the bottom of it.   
  


* * *

 

Sebastian made a beeline for the Lucky 38 after he had left the Mormon Fort. Not only was Arcade quick to suspect something was up, but he had gotten hit with a bout of headaches. Maybe getting that suit from the research center was a mistake; he  _ hated  _ being so reliant on chems, but it had been quicker than just sleeping it off. And as much as he hated admitting it, it calmed him down whenever the Sierra Madre made a reappearance in his dreams. 

He was restless in the elevator on the way up, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he found the suite to be empty. He paces across the foyer and into the bedroom, immediately scrambling through his things before bringing out a shot of Med-X. Sebastian rolls his sleeve up, exposing his arm, and he’s greeted by a litter of pinpricks. Some by the auto-injecting of the stealth suit, some by him. He almost rolls his sleeve back in shame, but doesn’t. Instead, he eyes a vein and takes the shot, breathing out deeply afterwards.

There was something burning deep in his chest after that. What it was, he wasn’t sure; guilt, shame, or maybe he was on the verge of an overdose. Maybe it was the former. What would Arcade think? He’d be upset, no doubt… maybe upset enough to actually leave. He supposes he couldn’t blame the doctor. Lying about it in the first place… God, what was he thinking? His arm jerks involuntarily again, and he does his darnedest to keep it still. His eyes start to sting, and only when he blinks he realizes he’s started crying.

The Courier breathes out another sigh and lies down, feeling the soft sheets against his back. Maybe he should go find Arcade, explain everything. Apologize. He knows Arcade cares about him, that he’d get him the help he needed. But… what if he didn’t? It was an asinine thought, but it scared Sebastian regardless. He blinks once, twice. He hadn’t realized how exhausted he actually was until he actually lied down. He struggles to keep his eyes open for a few moments before deciding to just drift off, sleeping a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

Arcade didn’t want to believe it, he wished it weren’t so, but it was what it was. He’s seen addiction; it had been plaguing Freeside ever since he first got here. It wasn’t pretty, he’s seen what it does to an individual after months, years, of abuse. Now, he might’ve been thinking a little too far into the future, but he’ll be damned if he was just gonna stand there and let the same thing happen to Sebastian. 

What worried him, however, was trying to find the Courier. He didn’t actually specify where he was going, and while Arcade chided himself in not asking beforehand, he realizes that he probably wouldn’t have gotten an honest answer. Still, it would’ve at least given him a place to start looking. Fortunately enough, one of the locals managed to point him in the right direction. Searching the Strip was certainly easier than just blindly walking around the Mojave.

He’s immediately greeted with the bright lights once he walks past the gates, the orange colored sky drowned out. Arcade sighs, he never really understood the allure the Strip held, both before the war and after. But here it was, open for business through it all. Regardless, he could question it all later, there was still the task at hand. While it seemed unlikely, the Lucky 38 seemed as good a place to start as any. Lex parsimoniae and all that. 

Once he was in the foyer, he takes a deep breath, and tries to call for the other. “Sebastian? Are you in here? There’s something… urgent I need to talk to you about.” When he gets no response, he makes a move to look around. “...Sebastian? I certainly hope you’re not trying to hide.” He purses his lips and pushes the door to the bedroom, but gasps when he sees the Courier unconscious. Arcade rushes over to check for vitals, but breathes a sigh of relief when he doesn’t find anything  _ too  _ out of the ordinary. It was only there he saw that the Courier’s eyes were gaunt, and he could only wonder how long he’s had those. What immediately sparked his concern, however, were the marks on his arm. 

Arcade only sighs. There wasn’t an immediate cause for concern, at least, so he figures he’d let Sebastian get some shut eye. Although, he found no reason not to clean up the other man’s arm, and so he gets off the side of the bed to fetch some bandages.

 

* * *

 

It’s late into the night when Sebastian wakes. The headache was gone, but it almost felt like he was back in the shallow grave at Goodsprings. He yawns, rubs the sleep from his eyes and reaches down to roll his sleeve back down, but his heart stops when he sees that it’s been recently bandaged. The Courier looks up, biting back a breath at the sight of Arcade sleeping soundly in a chair. Sebastian reaches out, making an attempt to gently shake him awake, but his hand stops short of Arcade’s shoulder. He shouldn’t-- couldn’t. At the end, it didn’t matter, because the Follower stirs anyways. Sebastian tries pulling his hand away, but Arcade manages to reach for it at the last second, holding onto it tightly.

“Gee,” Sebastian starts, giving a weak laugh. “Didn’t know you had good reflexes.”

“I’ll be back soon, Arcade,” the doctor starts, his voice soft, but his expression was something that was both upset and hurt. “I have a few errands to run, I’ll be back by the end of the day… I’m fine, I have it under control…” he trails off, gently squeezing his hand. “You certainly are making lying to me a habit. It won’t work out that way,” he adds, but when he sees the expression on the Courier’s face, he sighs. “You should’ve told me. I had my suspicions when you just ran off like that, but… I needed to be sure. Involuntary spasms, pupil contractions… Med-X kills, Sebastian. I-- I don’t want that for you.” He gets up, but only so he could sit next to the Courier, carefully leaning against his shoulder. 

Just like that, Sebastian has an arm around him, his eyebrows furrowed. “...I’m sorry. I know, I should’ve told you, I just-- got scared. I thought you’d leave.”

“Now, why would I go and do something like that?” Arcade frowns, shifting so he could face the other man completely. “Look at me. Sebastian, I love you, and there isn’t anything on this Earth that could possibly change that, or make me leave. Save for helping the Legion, maybe, but that’s besides the point. I care about you, and I want what’s best for you.” He sighs, pulling the Courier in for a quick embrace. “Now,  _ please,  _ tell me what’s going on.”

“Right, okay.” Sebastian nods, taking a shaky breath. “Remember what I said about the suit I found? Well, it… administers Med-X too. I thought I had it under control, I didn’t want to keep using it, but the headaches stopped, it made nightmares a little easier to deal with… I couldn’t stop. Eventually I started taking the shots myself.” He’s pulled away from Arcade, his free hand picking at the bandages. 

Arcade shakes his head, reaching up so that the Courier’s head rested in his hands. “...Honestly, what am I to do with you?” He asks, but his voice was gentle, a thumb caressing Sebastian’s cheek. “Right, tonight you’re getting a full night’s sleep. Then, first thing tomorrow, I’m taking you to the Old Mormon Fort and I’ll help you get cleaned up. Doctor’s orders.”

The notion makes Sebastian smile, and this time, it looked much more genuine. “Got it.”

“And no more lying to me, understand? We’re partners. You confide in me, and I’ll confide in you. It… worries me when you don’t talk to me.”

“I understand. No more, I promise.” Sebastian nods, placing his hands over Arcade’s for a moment, then pulls him into an embrace. “I… could you stay tonight? I missed you. You would’ve liked the Big Empty, I think.”

“Awfully bold of you to assume I’d want to be anywhere else,” Arcade jokes, and for the first time that night, cracks a smile. “Come on, scooch over. I’d like to hear the nicer side of your little adventure.” He slips out of his lab coat and makes himself comfortable on the spot next to Sebastian. 

“Well, make yourself comfy. This one’s a  _ really  _ long story.”


End file.
